I have been fighting this teaching thing for about 10 years.
Each year I feel overworked, frustrated, tired, and ready to switch careers. I
felt this way in an inner city Title 1 school. I felt this way in an affluent
suburban school. I felt this way in an Arab all boys school in the Middle East.
I felt this way in a prestigious American International School in Dubai. So I
knew it wasn’t the kind of school I worked in that would change my feelings. I
also have never had a “bad group of kids”. I had been warned of this in my
early years, that I would get that terrible wave and have a year from hell in
which I felt I had to drink every night just to get through the weeks. Well I
do enjoy wine frequently, but not because I can’t stand my students. It more
feels like the perfect way to end a busy work day.
So what was it? I’ve worked in some of the best schools with
the best children collaborating with the best families. At the end of this past
school year I had decided. It was enough. I was sick of feeling like this year
after year. The highs and the lows. One day feeling like I was the Beyonce
version of teaching, meaning I nailed the whole entire day (few and far
between). Other days feeling like I’d rather work at the Starbucks in Target. (I
love coffee and those dollar bins at the entrance of every store are
addictive.)
I had been on interviews and simply did not find what I was
looking for. But what WAS I looking for?! My poor husband would listen to me go
back and forth. We just celebrated our one year and I am sure he was quietly
wondering if he had married a crazy person. I could be a paralegal, a
firefighter, a bartender, join the Army!?! My ideas were all over the place. The thought of working in an early
childcare center seemed more practical. I could bring our kids to work! But
wait….what kids? Not only do we not have children but I’ve also toyed with
the idea of not having kids at all. (Again, my poor husband and my
shenanigans.) After visiting a few centers it just didn’t feel like the answer
to what I was craving.
I needed a sign…what was I meant to do? What would be my new
job? Well it FINALLY hit me this summer. After watching toxic news story after
news story after news story of all that’s currently happening in our world I
decided…(cue light bulb) “That’s it!” I am going to go out and make a
difference! I am going to be a responsible citizen and help others. I am going
to share any knowledge and experience I have to positively impact others. I am
going to continue learning about things I’m passionate about. I felt a fire in my
belly! I felt excited! I felt awakened! Now I just needed to find that perfect
job that would give me these perks!
Oh...wait...wasn't I doing that already? Hadn't I been doing it for 10 years? Hadn't I been prepping for this role since I was 8 years old? (cue 2nd light bulb of the summer)
Teacher. You idiot Jenny….TEACHER! That’s how you help others.
That’s how you positively impact society. That’s how you contribute to changing
the world. Sure, there are things about education today that’s hard to swallow.
There’s been a 10 year build up of aspects of the job that I don’t agree with.
But I couldn’t let it take me down. I couldn’t let it suck the passion out of
me. The essentialness of the profession outweighs those ever changing factors
that teachers feel burdened by year after year. I felt renewed! I felt my
calling (again)!
Naturally, I contacted John right away with my aha moment.
“I’m a teacher! I want to teach now more than ever!” (thank goodness he loves
me). I wonder if he knew all along that I would come full circle? He then
begrudgingly filled me in on the reality that the new school year was starting
in a couple of weeks and that teaching jobs might not be available. What? But I’m
a teacher? What am I supposed to do now?! Well, it’s funny the way things work
out. Sometimes when things are meant to be they just are. I vow to stop this
war with teaching and to learn a little bit more about work-life balance.
To school age parents out there- yayy for back to school time!
Support your child’s teacher this year, they really do work their tails off. To
teachers- remind yourself of how awesome you are for taking on such a
challenging profession. Get excited about all you have to offer your students
this year! To everyone- buy John a well deserved beer if you ever see him.
